Sunday, September 03, 2006

Rings, sacrifices, drama - The Wedding Post

I was at brunch with a friend today and we were discussing her roommate's upcoming nuptials. Well, actually that's a bit misleading because she's not even engaged yet. And that's the problem. Roommate just moved to New York this past spring leaving her boyfriend at home in Atlanta. Turns out they love each other, so she's making plans to head back to be with him. But she won't move back (and into a house with him) until they've walked down the aisle. An engagement ring won't do the trick. She must be married before she'll live with him (and good for her for sticking to her morals).

So Roommate and my friend have done the math and realize that in order for her to have ample time to plan the wedding before their lease is up in March, he must propose by October 1. I have to imagine that Roommate is getting a little antsy because she just came back from a trip to Atlanta to visit him and NO RING. The stress! The drama!

What's dude waiting on you might ask? Could be that he wants to make sure he's in a financially secure place before he drops $10K on a ring. Understandable, but Roommate might have a coronary if he doesn't pop the question soon. I would too though...her life dangles by a thinner and thinner thread the longer he postpones the proposal. Planning a wedding in less than six months sounds like an absolute nightmare. So if he doesn't get crackin' soon, Roommate's going to have to sign another lease here in New York, thus thinning that thread that connects her to her sanity.

Anyway it got me thinking. She's stressed. She's dangling by a thread. She's probably frustrated that she's not engaged. She's having to base the future of her life on another person.

ALL OF THESE THINGS SUCK. As much as being ready to marry someone must be great, Roommate's situation is reminding me of just how much sacrifice goes into that kind of relationship. Like TOO much. Regardless of how much I love someone I'm just not sure that I'm ever ready to be unhappy or unsure of my life just to be with him. Sure, that sounds selfish, but if it looks like a duck and it sounds like a duck...

I don't know. I'm sucker when it comes to matters of the heart. For some reason I just have no self control when it comes to boys. If I like him, I LIKE him. No halfway. No kinda. No "he's aight." But something about the whole marriage thing just scares me. I don't want to be in Roommate's shoes. I really don't. Maybe I'm just not ready and when the time comes I'll feel differently. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy my singlehood and be thankful I'm not being faced with all of that madness right now. Although a shiny thing on my finger might not be half bad...

6 souls spinning:

At 1:36 AM, September 04, 2006, Blogger Blogxilla said...

I feel you b/c I'm the same way I don't Understand this half way liking someone... Also at the same time Marrisge is a big thing if done right. b/c that's a promise to God and it should be forever

 
At 6:20 PM, September 05, 2006, Blogger An Odyssey of Discovery said...

If loving someone requires you to be unhappy or unsure of your life then perhaps he/she is not the one. Marriage does require a lot of compromise but the very definition means give and take by both people. So, if roomie's honey is serious then he will also sacrifice something (i.e. singlehood) in order to enjoy life with his love. I'm so happy to be past this stage in my life :)

 
At 12:22 PM, September 06, 2006, Blogger kittenpower said...

yg-
i feel you.
i'm AFRAID of marriage, babies, all of it.
YIKES!!!

 
At 4:54 PM, September 12, 2006, Blogger Ray said...

Hmm, I think you can be unsure, but if you are you should speak up. That's they key to a good relationship. Perhaps if she told him how she felt, she wouldn't be left dangling and stressed. Then again, he also might run a mile :/

 
At 9:05 PM, September 12, 2006, Blogger Your Girl said...

Amen, Ray. I completely agree with you. Sometimes I think I might over communicate...it's so much better to know than to have decisions made for you without your knowledge!

 
At 1:50 PM, September 13, 2006, Blogger PretaMulatta said...

the silly thing on your finger is only temporary. it means a lot, but doesnt mean EVERYTHING, once u + the person u're with decide ~with your hearts~ that being together is the most important thing ever...

all that fear just vanishes into thin air.

 

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